Yesterday, went to volunteer at home. I really enjoy it! Although before that the preparation is tiring but is still worth to do it. This is the 2nd time volunteering at the same home, and each time I realise and understand something. Every experience encounter is very different. Earlier, I saw internal self, now I see impermanent.
That's why I always question myself, am I the one who gives or am I the one who takes?
Hum...... I don't know why this 2 rounds of volunteering, I feel very different from those that I used to do last time....... What is the difference am I refering?
Years back, I did volunteer in CC, doing events for flea market, fund raising, youth camp, D&D, etc....... but is really different lor. During that time, I volunteer is because I am a volunteer. Is like, task given so must complete the task........ didn't really observe things, didn't really observe my internal self, didn't really understand what is the meaning of VOLUNTEER.
To me in those days, when I volunteer, it means YES! I can have fun now. YES! Is playing time! YES! Is time for me to give my helping hand and nothing more than that. (Very playful, everyday enjoy playing.) When all youngest gather together, is either you have laugher or sadness. Why I say so........ all people come together and want to get things done....... But ended adding in personal emotion, ego, personal view, etc. Everyone 血气方刚....... So some of the leader can make it and get things done, but some halfway through the road gone liao........ And during those days, I am always the supporters behind the leaders. When they need a helping hand, my hand will be there for them and that's all. But of course, I am happy to "give" them my hand lah.
But today, my view is different lor. I suddenly understand the meaning beyond VOLUNTEER! Volunteer does not really means just give your hand and that's it! Volunteer does not means that you are there to have enough head count. Volunteer does not means that task given and you did it with an A*. Volunteer does not means that visiting them every month or every week, happy happy liao.... then finish.
Right now, to me, volunteer is to put my heart in and benefits the receiver. (earlier, my volunteering don't have such a strong feeling on this). Overhere, our volunteering is to monitor the children behavior, under study them and try to think of ways to benefit them. Don't put in our personal emotion, ego, personal view, etc.
Last time, I just know how to put in my heart and play harder! Hahaha......... (shame to say that.... haha......). Right now, I have added in another meaningful meanings into this words - VOLUNTEER........ so happy with it.
One last thing, kids are always so touching......... When we are about to go home after the event, an indian boy shouted to me:" Aunty Jean, BYE BYE!" and he wavied his hand was like going to shake it out from his body.......... so sensible boy.
(Aiyo, miss my nephews and niece liao lah! This boy is same age as my elderest nephew.......... )
Do you know that I scolded him during the class? Hehe......... not only him! Another 2 boys also kanna scold by me! By right, we should give love right! How come I scold them? Because they fights with one another........... Although, I scolded them...... but they didn't hate me...... they do know that they are wrong in the 1st place.
I treat them like my nephews, although scold them when they do wrong, but play harder with them when they are right!
Then I sort of treaten him....... "you want me to come back?" Then he smile and knot his head....... "then behave, promise me don't fight. I will come back and teach you more yoga"........ Haha...... but he still fight with others when I didn't realise.......... But when I caught him fighting again...... he will laugh and say:" we are playing catching only." And both of us laugh together....... haha...... very fun! Is slowly buliding up the bonding........ (Good to have this kind of bonding? haha..... don't ask me, I don't want it to think now...... just let it be!)
So after this event am I going back? Actually, my plan is after this round, I would like to call a stop and get more rest.
But NOW, my answer is YES! I want to go back for more, if there is still chancing for us to do Yoga with them. YES! I want to serve them! YES! I want to have FUN with them! YES! I want to see their improvement! They are lovely boys and girls........ :D
